I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
