i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
