And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm too high and old for this...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
