At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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