My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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