I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
