she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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