Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
