we have officially lost it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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