I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
