I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
