the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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