Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
