yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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