i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
