wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
