Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
