Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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