She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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