5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
