then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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