There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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