Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
