They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
