I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'm really busy with my period
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