I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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