Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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