Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
