so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
