I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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