P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
