I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
