Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
