im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dick very happy bro
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
