This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
