Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
