She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
why is half of my head shaved?
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