First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
