Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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