her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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