Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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