I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
