You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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