After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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