so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
