I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
