there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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