I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
