may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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