so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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