do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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